Thursday, January 5, 2012

Bridesmaid or Grooms-men?

Hurling towards the due date of my brother and his fiance's wedding I am stuck in a tough spot. To be a grooms-man or a bridesmaid?

As a gay man, I have found it easy to glide through the worlds of both the masculine and feminine.

Last time, I covered this topic in a sexual manner. How does it function in the actual social world? More interested in attending the bachloret party, I want to make sure my bro gets a kick ass bachlor party.

Questions I've arrived to are; how do I find the way to re-connect with my heterosexual side? How do I make this plan a success? And, have I gone too far into the gay world that I have lost the ability to pull off a straight man look?

Besides my desire to be seen as a gay straight man, it is more obvious, now then ever, that I am just gay.  Growing up I could not play the sports I wanted and could not be comfortable enough to be out of the closet. How can I change my norms to leave me at peace with my masculine side?

These past couple of years I have tried playing soccer with friends, tennis with close people and baseball with family. The facts are, I am physically capable of playing these sports. I am able to learn things quickly. But not until recently have I felt comfortable enough to do something about it.

I've picked up running and still dabble with other activities. Truth is, I find running to clear my mind and gives me strength to push on.

I'm starting to realize that, I am only a part of what's around me. The fact that I am gay is part of me not all of me. People love me because of all that I am.

As of now, I see myself pulling off both my rolls as a masculine guy and feminine gay. It seems the middle ground is most straight women's desire. I guess that is why I get the regular question...

"why can't you be straight?"

Jokes on you ladies, hope the guy I am talking to wants me as much as straight chicks. Till next time. I hope to answer more of my own questions, instead of just having a stream of thoughts.


Send me topics to cover. I would love to share them on my blog.

No comments:

Post a Comment