Saturday, December 17, 2011

Having the balls to say what I like.

I've been dealing with the issue of sexual identity this week. To be specific people confuse me for a bottom. I like my clothes and my shoes, why does that automatically state I like it up the ass?

Starting this week I began to question what kind of man I am looking for. It might be picky of me but, I want someone who can be one of the boys with me, but enjoys the sexual pleasures of my bottom gay boys out there.

Sexual identity should not be a requirement on these site to meet people or hook up. I know its fast and convenient, but where does the mystery of getting to know someone go? You find yourself knowing a guys cock size and sexual position preference by scrolling down the page of their profiles.

The fact is that unless you meet a guy at a bar or club its really hard not to just join sites like a4a, or grindr. Here sex and meeting the cute guy down the street comes straight to your smart phone.

We are part of a new generation where sexual compatibility is established on date one. We take all emotion and Passion out of love making and force this minimal fantasy of getting off with someone because they have a sexy six-pack.

I've met someone this past week where it seems like we are compatible. The bull has been set aside and we are communicating fluent gay English. What we want and why we want it.

It's been established that just because I like my clothes and shoes I can still put it down to make this manliest of men feel the urge to bottom for me.

Are my prayers answered? Time will only tell. Looking forward to the future and this adventure.

Ps. I am not afraid to say as a gay man one does get the urge to be topped as well. Just not as often as my bottom bros out there.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Background and reasons

For the first time in my life I have the courage to share my thoughts on my gay adventures in this city.

But first, I felt the need to share a little about myself.

Planning on falling in love with the "one" has been the mission since I was 8 years old. This was silenced by the fact that I grew up in a "Christian" home. Suppressing this amazing feelings for 21 years of my life had me believe that loneliness came to all gay men.

Dating was a thought only after I came out of the closet. Friends and family had no idea I was gay, it took about 6 months to surpass the curiosity stage everyone thought I was living.

Spending time with some candidates in the love arena, I came to grow fond of "Mr." Known as a college student by day, a flirt by night. I experienced a lot of my firsts with him. Clubbing, drinking etc... (Not what you think.)

Learning a few things from "Mr." I decided that friendship was the way to end that love ache.

Filtering the "Mr.s" out of my dating life opened the door for "glee", a fellow college student and lover of musicals. Someone I never saw a future with but his humor and kindness out shined everything else.

I soon had my fun with both "Mr." And "glee". But was quickly swept away by the young strong and witty "Senorito."

I lived a year and a half of bliss with this witty man. Losing my v-card, and experiencing other firsts I never thought would happen. Leading to a discovery where I quickly learned he was a boy pretending to be a man.

After having my heart broken by "Senorito", Spanish for little mister, I decided to hold off on men until I knew I was over this world wind of a man. The problem with that thought is that I never know when that time has actually arrived.

The past year I've had two "relationships" and a couple (or more) hook-ups.

This chapter starts with 3 hook-up over the summer and finally dating again after my birthday.

Working at a school I met a fellow gay man we will call "teacher". Not the typical attraction I would have but his personality had me interested.  3 months of dates and foreplay lead to an inevitable break up among two vers tops.

Leading me to "cha cha" a dancer with a weird weight issue. Although I see many gay men starve themselves to look thin. He was thin starving himself to get even thinner. Leading to an "episode", where I decided not to allow myself to fall into another dependant relationship.

The past 8 months I have enjoyed being single but only slept with one man. A Vegas trip where I surprised myself and went home with a military man. The "soldier" was a fit and sexy man that I assumed was going to try to top. But low and behold I turned the tables yet again and had my way. Best sex ever! At least till the present day.

Thus, this blog is born. Along with my first born nephew.  I find myself looking to a great future full of men, friends, and family.

Out of all of this, I hope you can see that 8 year old boy trying to find that romantic ending to his little gay world.